Unforgettable

you left too soon for goodbye's to be exchanged.
to be completely honest; it left my mind rearranged.
i have visions of us talking on a level so extreme,
only to wake up and realize it was only a dream.
everyday, nonstop, i reflect on the good weather.
as well as the bad times we conquered together.
i am left here counting the faces that left fast.
wondering why i am still here and u in the past.
i am happy you moved on and you will live in my pen.
i just hope i am not forgotten if i don't see you again.
my love lasts forever just as my will to hold a grudge.
i don't know my fate if i happen to meet my judge.
so just know i heal slow and some days i seem too low.
i miss you and i never learned the right way to let go.

RIP

Trevi Edwards, Brandy Riley, Brooke Woodford, Carl Sandifer, 

Mary Sandifer, Junior Stump, Barry Layne, Genie Layne, 

Dennis Deacon, Dennis Deacon Jr., Margret Miear

Vertipression

 How it goes with vertigo.
A lesson in depression.
Manage your brain damage.
I used to blend in with the crowd, walk with my head up and proud.
Speak with conviction, know when to transition from quiet to loud.
I could drive fast and run hard. I would arrive safe and bluff cards.
I trusted my mind to guide me. Now I know it's blind with no regard.
I wanted people around me and converse about the fate of man.
I hate I only debate alone about the fate of this man in my hands.
A life is wasting and it is tasting like the rotten spoils of defeat.
Yet i won't lay down until my body is blue rotten spoiled meat.
I used to look into the mirror and know exactly what I would see.
Now all I know is the broken monster's reflection staring back at me.
i cant explain the pain when your brain doesn't know the real you.
I just know how it goes when your trapped in a body trying to kill you.
~ceL

TA Links

 

Twisted Attic Links

• ceL Twitter: @twistedattic
• Tina Twitter: @tinamwall13
• Meme Twitter: @DidntMemeIt
• ceL Facebook: twistedcel on Facebook
• Tina Facebook: Tina on Facebook
• Twisted Attic Fanpage: TA on Facebook
• Didn't Meme It Fanpage: Didnt Meme It on Facebook
• The Violent Attic Ebook: Violent Attic Ebook (free download)
• ceL Instagram: Instagram souLoFceL
• ceL Youtube: souLoFceL Youtube channel
• Twisted Attic Cafepress store: Twisted Attic store
• ceL Hubpages: ceL Hubpages
• Twisted Attic Pintrest: Pintrest
• Twisted Attic Artpal: TA Art Pal
• Twisted Attic Redbubble: TA Redbubble
• Twisted Attic Ebay: Twisted Attic Ebay

Here are a few links for The Twisted Attic. Check them out if you would like. There are many more on Google but these are our most active pages. Feel free to share them with your friends. We are constantly adding new content, art, and poetry. Thanks for the support over the past 15 years!
-ceL

Swing Back

a lot changed in this past year.

i lost a lot but im still here.

on 2 feet i stand half  broken

most of the pain remain unspoken.

my kids are my only form of sanity.

everything takes away the man i can be.

death and loss swing with hands of stone.

i would never have made it all alone. 

crushing my brain with every blow.

i try to replay the lessons i know.

chin tucked, elbows bent, hands up high.

the  most painful is the question of "why?"

the answer might be never revealed.

everyday is starting to lose its warm appeal. 

Frozen

Frozen in time,but defrosting the mind.

Feeling around half blind in this life of mine.

A thousand footsteps from my dearly departed.

Yet miles from where the pain started.

I learned so much and grew so strong,

Helping so many when their thoughts were wrong,

opening eyes through rhyming these lines,

staying intwined in Evil and the devine.

Nightmares are frequent, sleep never comes easy.

Just out of reach the demons poke and tease me.

I try to be noble and hold out a hand.

Yet my head remains solid; respect I demand.

I want to leave a legacy for my children to honor.

I just worry about the path my mind often wanders.

~ceL

Apex Creativity

i sleep a little,yet worry a lot.

still stuck inside of what i'm not.

i look ahead,getting pulled behind.

dreams still exist in this twisted mind.

i create to escape, art always calls me.

then display it to release for all to see.

words, paint strokes, pixels, blues and reds.

anger and pain begin to leak from my head.

pages fill, canvas is covered, thoughts in flight.

like it or hate it i know i served my soul right.

brutal yet fruitful, i plant seeds within my lines.

this world can be ugly, but i could never be blind.

make sense of nonsense, make order out of chaos.

fair is not a fact and karma never takes days off. 

be offended less, take the jewel out of the thorns.

a man can say nothing to leave my heart torn.

learn from adversity, run to the things u fear.

dont crumble and let this world see your tears.

i would rather be a  tiger that lives for a day.

than a Sika deer who lives and runs forever.

~ceL

The Twisted Solution

So im at the point that i lost alot in my life. My job, my ability to drive, my confidence, the ability to hold a conversation with the mother that gave birth to me, my house, my ability to continue with my neurology care. The funny thing is, in still not broken. This makes me want to succeed even more. I was born under struggle. More than likely i will die swinging too. Im so thankful for the people that have reached out to me. Tina for being there when 9 out of 10 women would have left. Stephanie and Bill for taking me in as their own as we get back on our feet. The kind words from old friends as well as new ones. Most importantly, the 3 people that call me daddy. Im getting there and and im never going to be in this position again.
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