Unforgettable

you left too soon for goodbye's to be exchanged.
to be completely honest; it left my mind rearranged.
i have visions of us talking on a level so extreme,
only to wake up and realize it was only a dream.
everyday, nonstop, i reflect on the good weather.
as well as the bad times we conquered together.
i am left here counting the faces that left fast.
wondering why i am still here and u in the past.
i am happy you moved on and you will live in my pen.
i just hope i am not forgotten if i don't see you again.
my love lasts forever just as my will to hold a grudge.
i don't know my fate if i happen to meet my judge.
so just know i heal slow and some days i seem too low.
i miss you and i never learned the right way to let go.

RIP

Trevi Edwards, Brandy Riley, Brooke Woodford, Carl Sandifer, 

Mary Sandifer, Junior Stump, Barry Layne, Genie Layne, 

Dennis Deacon, Dennis Deacon Jr., Margret Miear

Vertipression

 How it goes with vertigo.
A lesson in depression.
Manage your brain damage.
I used to blend in with the crowd, walk with my head up and proud.
Speak with conviction, know when to transition from quiet to loud.
I could drive fast and run hard. I would arrive safe and bluff cards.
I trusted my mind to guide me. Now I know it's blind with no regard.
I wanted people around me and converse about the fate of man.
I hate I only debate alone about the fate of this man in my hands.
A life is wasting and it is tasting like the rotten spoils of defeat.
Yet i won't lay down until my body is blue rotten spoiled meat.
I used to look into the mirror and know exactly what I would see.
Now all I know is the broken monster's reflection staring back at me.
i cant explain the pain when your brain doesn't know the real you.
I just know how it goes when your trapped in a body trying to kill you.
~ceL